Call centres. Nearly, but not quite, as evil as Satan Himself. I just tried to sort out a problem with my internet connection. It's quite a simple thing really. It keeps cutting out and I'd prefer it not to. I need to know if the problem is with the exchange or with my network. Piece of cake. You'd think...
Valued Customer
Whilst I appreciate being a 'valued customer' whose call 'is important to us', I would appreciate it more if they just picked up the damned phone. After 25 minutes, I finally managed to talk to someone. In India. Now, I have no problem with people from India, but something tells me that they are possibly not in an ideal location for resolving internet connections on the other side of the world.
Take for example, the following exchange:
ISP: What town do you live in?
Me: I live just outside Bury, Lancashire
ISP: Is that B-E-R-R-Y?
Me: Erm...no. It's Bury, you know, like what you do when someone dies.
ISP: Are you using the router we sent you?
Me: No, because it's shit. I use my own.
ISP: I can't advise you on other routers.
Me: I don't want you to advise me on how to use a router. I'm quite capable of doing that myself. I want you to tell me if there is a problem with my internet connection. My neighbour is also having problems, and he's with you as well
ISP: I can't advise you on your neighbour's internet connection.
Me: I don't want you to advise me on my neighbour's connection. I'm just saying that it seems to be a problem with the line.
ISP: Oh. I see. Where does your neighbour live?
Me: What?
ISP: Your neighbour. Where does your he live?
Me: He lives next door, where do you think he lives? He's my neighbour.
ISP: Is that N-E-C-K-S-D-O-U-R? Do you have a postcode? It's not on my screen.
You see the problem? 20 minutes later, and after I'd given her all the diagnostics and DNS info from inside my router, we determined that the local exchange had a fault which would be fixed the day after Hell freezes. Berry in Lancashire It seems I am not alone. A survey by Citizens Advice showed that 97% of people were disatisfied with call centres. Hardly surprising. I long for bank queues, for talking to real people who actually give a shit. People who know that Bury is a town in Lancashire.
Maybe if the call centre managers could unearth some miracle management style that involved valuing staff and not threatening them with the sack if they don't answer their quota of calls, then things wouldn't be so bad. Now, video-call centres. They would be a vast improvement, because at least you'd be able to actually see the person on the other end of the line and give them the finger if they piss you off. |
