With God attracting so much attention this election cycle, there's one question that literally nobody is asking. How might the economic meltdown affect the Lord? And what does He think is the solution?Whilst I wouldn't be so presumptuous to know the mind of God, I have some thoughts on how Divine Intervention might be the ultimate October Surprise.
Sack the Temple Christ kicks ass in the Temple. Could it happen again? Perhaps God's most famous intervention into the free market economy was when his Son bust the Temple at Jerusalem. Matthew 21:12-13 picks up the tale: "12Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13"It is written," he said to them, "'My house will be called a house of prayer', but you are making it a 'den of robbers.'"Maybe God has something similar in mind to blow the race wide open before November 4th. After all, His ears must have been burning these last few weeks. He's been invoked in speeches, and called upon to guard His reputation from unbelievers and heathens. At a McCain rally in Iowa, the preacher-cum-warm up act declared:
Invocation"And Lord, I pray that you will guard your own reputation, because they're going to think that their God is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you will step forward and honor your own name with all that happens between now and election day" But if God were to make his voting preferences known, how might he do it and, crucially, which candidate would he endorse?  The Four Horsemen arrive in D.C. It strikes me that there are two startling fuck up's in the world right now that may attract God's attention. One is the economic meltdown and the other is Gov Sarah Palin. However, I doubt that God will pay any attention to what I think. So, after spending 17 days and 17 nights swatting up on my New International Bible, I have drawn some conclusions.- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse would thunder into D.C. to be interviewed by Katie Couric about who they think has the best stance on health care, veterans benefits, foreign policy and tackling poverty in Africa.
- An Epic Flood engulfs the east coast of the USA, accompanied by huge rises in temperature. John McCain, desperately campaigning in the supposedly safe state of West Virginia is engulfed by an epic tidal wave, leaving Sarah Palin on her own in Kentucky. Obama and Biden, meanwhile, are safe in mile high city, Colorado, shoring up the vote.
 Angles in the sky? Look away now. A warehouse worker in New York accidentally stumbles upon the Lost Ark of the Covenant in a storage box left by Indiana Jones. He opens it at a McCain/Palin rally. For a laugh.- Jesus Himself makes a return visit, appearing on the David Letterman show the night McCain cancelled for the fourth time. Jesus says "Listen to me fuckwits. Go for the O man. Its the only way into heaven."
Like I said, I don't profess to know what God has install between now and Nov 4th, but my advice is this: Get out of D.C., find some higher ground and don't look at angels. Oh, and vote for the black dude.
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